To Ink or Not to Ink

Tattoo.  What a loaded word it is, rife with associations to goons, goofs, bikers, tribal warriors, carnival artists, drunken sailors and floozies.

~Jon Anderson, "Epidermal Dalis," Chicago Tribune, 6 October 1994~

I do try very hard to be as non-judgmental as possible but, in all honesty, I think the above quote probably explains my opinion of tattoos better than I have ever been able to explain it.  Almost everyone who knows me knows I am NOT a fan of tattoos.  Having said that, I have to say that I'm trying very hard to not just accept that almost everyone I love has them but to actually change my ideas about them.

My youngest son was the one who first opened my eyes to the possibility that I might subconsciously judge people with tattoos.  Once the seed was planted, I nurtured it until it became a full-blown self-realization.  I DID associate tattoos with the seedier side of life.  I have to add, though, that I firmly believe that having heard my grandfather express regret over his tattoos all of his life and his plea to my grandmother to make sure they were covered when he was laid out for viewing in his coffin had a lot to do with my negative opinion of tattoos.

This weekend was probably my biggest hurdle for accepting that tattoos do not define a person's heart or moral values.  My own husband - this man who I have lived with and loved for 39 years - got his first tattoo.  He is a former Marine so what else would he get besides an Eagle, Globe & Anchor?  How can I NOT like that?  One of my arguments against tattoos is that they are permanent and how can a person possibly know that they will still love the tat after some years have passed?  My husband's new "skin art" blew that theory out of the water.  He will never regret his choice - I'm certain of that.  Frankly, I can't see there ever coming a time when I don't like it either.

My acceptance is still in its infancy so it's still being nurtured.  I will never like anything demonic but I will do my level best to remember that it's not up to me to like what someone else has on their own body.

Who knows - maybe this new found realization of mine may change so drastically that I may eventually get my own tat - maybe a picture of my full body on each breast so that when I'm old(er) I will finally be tall and thin...  (thanks, Angela, for that one-liner - I owe you)

Life, Death, Faith and Proof

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new.
~Steve Jobs~

It seems that for a good while now, I've been preoccupied with thoughts of death.  Not mine - death in general.  I think that stems from the fact that so many I've cared about have passed on in a very short time. Since March of 2012, I've lost a mother-in-law, 3 uncles, an aunt, a brother and a step-sister.  One of the uncles, the aunt and step-sister were on my step-father's side and I wasn't really close to any of them.

My mother-in-law had been sick and her death wasn't unexpected.  She had lived a long and good life.  Everyone who knew her loved her and celebrated her life.  As much as I miss her, I'm comfortable in knowing that she's with God and is whole again and happy.

My brother, also, had been sick and, again, his death was not unexpected but it was such a different experience from losing my mother-in-law.  I had only recently learned of this brother and developed a close affection - yes, even love - for him.  He was younger than I and from what little I learned about him on my own and what I also learned from others, he was a good man, kind and loving who cherished his family.  Even though I knew his time was short and that we would never be able to make memories, I was still caught off-guard when my sister-in-law told me he was gone.

Uncle Doodle was a shock.  I had seen him just a month before he passed and he seemed to be doing so well.  In fact, he knew we were stopping by to visit on our way to see our granddaughter.  He had spent the entire morning cooking for us - baked ham, barbecued ribs, corn on the cob - and Lord knows what else!  When his daughter called me a month later and told me he was gone, I was flabbergasted.

That brings me to Uncle Howard.  He had been having health issues and had been recently released from a second stay in the hospital when he had to be readmitted.  Even so, I still thought he would recover.  As did my aunt.  She told me that she had no clue on that last morning that the day would end as it did.

It struck me a little harder with each death that the generation just above me is quickly disappearing.  My own generation has begun its demise with my brother and step-sister.  How can one NOT think of one's own mortality?

The natural progression from there is wondering about life after death and the faith that there is more in store for us.  Of course, that makes me think of atheists and I start to feel sorry for them that they are ignorant and just don't get it.  They don't get that it's pure and uncomplicated faith that's important.  The arrogance of them to demand proof!  I have to wonder: do they (atheists) want proof for every thing they believe?  Do they believe in aliens from outer space or ghosts?  If they DO believe in ghosts, then wouldn't they have to believe there's a spirit inside of us?

Science was one of my least favorite subjects in school.  Maybe that's because I'm not all about getting "proof" and am, in fact, quite okay with not knowing every single detail about life, death and God.  I believe in Him and I believe in Heaven.  I have faith and that's all that matters to me.  Maybe that's the problem with atheists - they can't see far enough beyond their own ignorance to know that we can't possibly know everything and that some things just have to be taken on faith.

So there you go.  I spend a lot of time thinking about death and the people I've lost over the years.  I worry about atheists and wonder how to change their minds.  I don't want anyone to not make it to Heaven but I know there are some who won't.  I just pray that none of those who I love are among them.

Tolerance and Differences

"How are we going to get rid of racism? Stop talking about it!"
~Morgan Freeman~

Recently, I was called a bigot because I stood in defense of Paula Deen and dared to ask the question why something she did 25 years ago was not okay but something President Obama did 25 years ago was okay.  I was quite taken aback and a little more than surprised.  I have since removed that person from my life.  No big loss, in my opinion.

During the presidential election of 2008, I was very clear to those in my close circle of friends and my family that I did NOT support Barack Obama for president.  I was told that I didn't support him because he was black.  Again, taken aback and a little more than surprised.  My comeback was that there were so many other and more important reasons to not support him that race wasn't even on the list.

I find these comments to me to be hurtful, first and foremost, but they also tell me that those who make them really don't know me.  But that's not the point of this blog.

When President Obama did drugs 25 years ago, it's generally accepted that it was a result of the times.  During the 70's and 80's it was pretty commonplace for the younger generation (including 20-somethings and 30-somethings) to experiment with drugs.  Aren't most people today given a pass for any drugs they may have done then?

The racial slurs Paula Deen made 25 years ago were also a result of the times.  The Civil Rights movement was still on an uphill climb.  How many other people have done the same thing with little or no consequence?  If the corporations who fired her think they made an example of her with their supposed 'zero tolerance' for bigotry, they failed miserably.  All they did was send a message that if someone said something years ago, keep it to yourself.

The above quote by Morgan Freeman was taken from an interview with Mike Wallace on 60 Minutes.  I think he's on to something.  We're constantly bombarded by the media about our differences.  Why are our differences pointed out but our commonalities are overlooked?  Isn't it true that when something is never mentioned, it's eventually forgotten? You can watch the excerpt here:  Morgan Freeman on Racism.

We are all human beings and should be treated equally.  I, for one, am tired of having the media lead us around by the nose and emphasizing our differences.  I'm with Morgan on this one.