On Growing Old

"Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art."
~Eleanor Roosevelt~

As a young girl, I would look at the Argyle pattern on the back of my grandfather's neck and wonder what it was like to be old.  I, of course, was never going to look like that or have wrinkles or sagging skin.  After all, I was young and always would be.


When I first noticed the diamond shaped wrinkles on my grandfather's neck, he was probably about the age I am now.  In the years since, I've noticed the pattern on other men's necks and decided it must be a "man thing" since I'd never noticed it on a woman.  Maybe that's because women tend to hide their necks beneath long hair - who knows?


Yesterday, I saw that pattern on my husband's neck and immediately thought of my grandfather.  Like a ton of bricks, it hit me that we had become the "old" people.  It's true - all of our parents and grandparents are gone.  Between the two of us, my husband and I had over 20 biological aunts and uncles.  I still have 3 biological aunts and one biological uncle left but all of my husband's are gone.  With that logic, we're not quite at the peak...yet.  Our generation is dangerously close to the beginning of the end.  That happens when people get old but, as I said, WE are NOT old.


We are both in our 60's and that is NOT old these days.  I remember both sets of parents and 3 of the 8 grandparents. They looked old; they acted old; they WERE old.  Eyesight was failing, hearing was going, memory was a come and go thing, joints ached and they just didn't have the stamina they once had.  No, that's not us at all!


Nevermind that we're both wearing bifocals now, that my husband is losing his hearing, that we both have become forgetful, that our joints ache all the time and that we can no longer do what we used to do or that what we CAN do, we can't do at the same level.  No, WE are not getting old.


I used to look at my mother's face and think to myself that I would never have wrinkles like that.  I was never going to have sagging jowls or baggy eyes.  So guess what I see when I look in the mirror?  Yes, sagging jowls, baggy eyes and my mother's wrinkles.  I don't have a clue how this happened because in my mind, I'm still 35.  My body can't do what it once did but I still feel young.


It's funny how I used to look at old people and wonder what it must be like to know you have many more years behind you than ahead of you.  I will admit - I AM at that point.  I'm fairly certain that I won't live to be over 120 years of age.  With that in mind, I have to accept that I'm on the downhill slope.  Even so, I AM NOT OLD!


My husband can easily refer to himself as an old man.  I'm not there yet - not for either of us.  In fact, one thing I've always said about myself is that I will never get old - I will just live a very long time.  To be the longest living young person is quite a feat and I'm working on achieving that goal.


Knowing all that I know and believing all that I believe, I've concluded that our bodies will get old and show the signs of aging in some very unattractive ways no matter how much we fight it or how much we deny it.  Our soul, however, is timeless and never ages.  That's why in our minds, we don't feel old.  Our minds and our hearts are the essence of who we are and who we always will be.  I am not my body so I will never get old.  I just wish I didn't have to look like I did.


Just my humble opinion...

Rights, Actions and Consequences

You can't blame anyone else ... no one but yourself. You have to make your own choices and live every agonizing day with the consequences of those choices.
~Max Brooks, World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War~

All of this hoopla surrounding standing or not standing for our national anthem has really been uppermost in my mind of late.  I find it most offensive when someone who is supposed to be a role model for our children chooses to protest by showing disrespect for something that means so much to so many.


It's true that said person (and many who have followed his lead) has the Constitutional right to protest.  It's also true that no one has to agree with or condone his actions.  There is absolutely a difference between having a right to do something and doing the right thing.


What I think he may not have considered when he started this protest is that his actions have consequences.  Not only has he been booed in public, his football jerseys have been burned and he lost some endorsements, his chosen method to protest has shifted the focus from the reason for his protest to a seemingly lack of patriotism and a figurative slap in the face to every man and woman who has fought for the liberties he takes for granted.


His "cause", I think, has some merit and does need some attention.   Showing respect to our flag, our anthem, our military and our country - all of which were disrespected, in my opinion - is not the way to further awareness about or cause action to change something.  As I said before, the reason for the protest has been lost.  You don't believe me?  Start asking everyone you see what they think this man was protesting.  No cheating by googling or researching or asking others.  Some will know, many will not.


Just my two cents...