Broken Promises and Disappointment

We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.
~Martin Luther King, Jr~

We all have people in our lives who we can depend on to keep promises. We all also have those in our lives for whom we know a promise has no more substance than a passing breeze.


Growing up, I learned quickly that "I promise" really meant "no".  I vividly recall the first time I became aware that a promise was really a no.  I had asked my stepfather either FOR something or to DO something - honestly, I don't remember what the "promise" was about.  Whatever it was clearly isn't important now but he said yes.  I asked him "Do you promise?" and of course he said "Yes, I promise."  I remember that my shoulders dropped with a deep sigh and my head turned downward as I replied weakly "Ok".  I walked away knowing that whatever it was that I wanted I wasn't going to get.  In my opinion, a broken promise is tantamount to being lied to and no one likes that.
 


For me, a promise is about trust.  It's about keeping your word.  It's about making an effort to do something for someone else.  If you don't plan to keep a promise don't make it.  It's just that simple.  I understand that things happen that are out of our control and sometimes it's not possible to keep a particular promise.  When that happens, own it.  Explain the situation, apologize and offer to make every effort to correct the situation.


This memory came to the surface recently when someone made a promise to me and then didn't keep it.  It was something important to me and the breaking of the promise was quite disappointing and disillusioning.  It boggles my mind how a person can spend years overcoming the insecurities they learned during childhood only to have it all come flooding back in just one moment.


The saddest part for me is that the act of breaking a promise devalues the person who made the promise.  It's like having someone fall from a pedestal.  I know, I shouldn't put people on a pedestal but I do.


After my realization about my stepdad's promises, I had some trust issues.  But God is good and He put someone in my life who would teach me that what I had learned as a child was not how things were supposed to be.  This person took a broken little girl, married her and then taught her to trust.  My husband doesn't break promises.  If he doesn't think he can keep a promise, he doesn't make it.  Rather, he promises to do his best and leave it at that.


So, that's my vent.  Supposedly, letting it out will make you feel better.  We shall see.  For now, I've dropped back a few steps and have to get it gear and get myself back to where I was.  And I will.  To anyone who reads this, I would say please be careful with your promises.  You never know how breaking them might affect someone.

How Bad Can It Get?

No matter how bad you think you have it, there is always - ALWAYS - someone who has it way, way worse.

~Vince Flynn~

It seems to me that there are more people than ever who are having hard times in one way or another.  The majority of the time, I'm sure they've heard that someone always has it worse.  My question is "when is it the worst?".  Surely there must be a point where there is no worse - right?


I suppose that "worse" could be a state of mind.  What might be the worse for one person may not be for another.  For example, one might think the worst is being homeless and living on the street.  Is it?  What if they're basically healthy but just can't support themselves?  Worse could be a homeless person who is chronically sick or might even have a terminal disease.  Could it get worse than that?


What if the wealthiest person in the world has no friends or family?  Money can give them all of the necessities and creature comforts known to man.  But it can't buy real friends or love.  A life without friends or love MUST be the worse - right?


So, does "worse" mean that's the way it is for the rest of your life?  Winston Churchill said "when you're going through Hell, keep going".  That makes me think that worse is not permanent.  Certainly, if you're going through bad times but there's an end to it - even if you can't see it at the time - is that the worst?  Could the worst be spending the rest of your life experiencing the worst?  Is there something even worse than that?


I believe there IS a point when it can get no worse and it's the same point for all of us.  None of us have gone (or will go) through the absolute worse in our lifetimes but many are going through it and many more will.  How is that possible? you ask.  Well, in my opinion, the worst happens after we die.  I believe it's not possible to experience anything worse than spending an eternity of agony, torture and hopelessness that comes from having died and been condemned to Hell.


Now, I'm not going to preach.  We all have our own beliefs concerning what happens to us after we die.  I'm not going to tell you that my belief is the only right one or even that it's the MOST right one.  But I AM going to ask you to search your heart and listen carefully to what it tells you.  If you are atheist and don't believe in Heaven and Hell, I especially beseech you to consider that you might be wrong.  If you're not, what have you lost?


God loves you all and I'm really trying.