Remembering

“To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.”

~Thomas Campbell~

We all have to accept the fact that some day we are going to die.  None of us are immortal.  I know the vast majority of us don't want to die but we don't always get what we want.


I've recently returned from a week in Washington DC where I spent time reflecting on the lives - and deaths - of those law enforcement officers who gave their lives in the performance of their duty.  Mother's Day takes place while I'm there so, of course, I spend time thinking of my mother and grandmother.  At the end of National Police Week, I reflect on the life of my beloved grandfather who went to live in Heaven on May 18, 1980.  This year, while in DC, I also visited my brother who is buried in Arlington National Cemetery.  He moved to Heaven in February 2013.


So many thoughts of people I've known and loved; thoughts of people I never met but know of  fill my mind.  I think of them and what I remember about them or have heard about them.  I find myself feeling close to people I never knew.


I never really understood - or took comfort in - the sentiment that "as long as someone is remembered, they will never die".  It never made sense to me.  Dead is dead and a memory is not the same thing as having someone with you.  It was when I learned about the life of my third great-grandfather that my thoughts on that began to change.


It occurred to me that if I had never started tracing my ancestral roots, no one would know about these people who came before us.  They weren't famous  historical figures.  I've never found a connection to anyone you can read about in a history book (talking America, here) so why WOULD anyone know who they are?  Not knowing about them is the same thing as them never having existed.  Think about that - how many people in the short history of our young country have lived and died without any acknowledgement of their existence?


So, what makes remembering so important?  Honestly, I have no clue.  I do know, though, that those who I have known and loved have left me with memories that I will cherish until the day I become just a memory for someone.  That naturally leads me to wonder how I will be remembered and what memories my family will come to cherish after I'm gone - at least I HOPE they will have some cherished memories.  I can hear my sons now telling the story of how I would tell each of them when the other wasn't around that he was my favorite but he couldn't tell his brother because it would hurt his feelings.  I'm sure that will bring a chuckle or two.


If I could choose how I'd like to be remembered, it would be first that I loved my family more than anything in the world.  I'd want them to know that my favorite role in life was that of wife and mother.  After that, I would hope to be remembered as a fair person who had an unshakable faith in God, who respected all, who gave all a second chance, who always chose to believe the best and who always ALWAYS forgave.


If I could leave a legacy for my children it would be that they would learn from the examples that I hoped I set - to be fair, honest, forgiving, to have faith in God and to love.


How would YOU like to be remembered?

I Hate Lying Liars

"I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.”

~Friedrich Nietzsche~

I don't understand how some people can live with themselves.  Do they have so little self-esteem that they have to lie about their participation in the lives of others because they have no life of their own?  To take credit for work others do because they do no work themselves?  To make up events in their own lives to feel important because they have such a low opinion of themselves?  To call someone a friend who isn't really a friend because they are friendless?


What kind of person makes up stories about having been part of the military during a war when, in fact, they were not?  Are they so needy to "belong" that they have to spit in the collective faces of those who HAVE served?  There is no shame in not having served and there is absolutely no good reason for lying about it.


What is the point of telling others that all the women in the group you were with once or twice a couple of years apart fought over you?  Do you have such a low opinion of yourself that you have to tell despicable lies about others to make yourself feel like a big man?  Is your ego worth the reputations of others?

All of the above, I can attribute to one person.  I used to tolerate this man but no longer.  I have always said that rudeness and disrespect are the top two things on my list of things I can't stand.  This person may have been polite in spreading his lies but there is no respect in such an action.

I decide what kind of people I want around me and none of those people have any of the charactistics of this deceitful liar.  I choose people who are honest, upright, uplifting and optimistic to be in my close circle of friends.  I don't care to have negativity in any sense invade my life.


I love my REAL friends.