Living The Golden Rule

We have committed the Golden Rule to memory; let us now commit it to life.

~Edwin Markham~

Have you ever thought about the Golden Rule and how in the last few decades society has twisted it so much that it's not even recognizable anymore?  From "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" we have evolved it into "do unto others before they do unto you".


As a young mother, I tried very hard to instill the Golden Rule into my sons' psyches.  Even they made their own version:  "well that's how he treats me so that must be how he wants to be treated".  They were very young then and have long since outgrown that mindset.


The Golden Rule is a beautiful thing, in my opinion.  Can you just imagine what kind of world this would be if every living person lived by that rule?  There would be no hate, no crime, no war, no revenge.  I think I've just described Utopia!


I try very hard to live by the Golden Rule but I'm a flawed human so I don't always succeed.  I have found something that helps me, though.  It's just a simple little Bible verse but oh is it powerful!  Matthew 25:45 says "Then He will answer them, saying, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.’"


How simple can that be?  Whatever you do to others, however you treat them, is what you do and how you treat our Lord.  Whenever I find myself in a situation where I might be leaning to treating someone not so well or maybe ignoring a need they have, I've learned to ask myself, "would I treat Jesus this way?"  Almost always, I change the course I was about to take.  Remember the "WWJD" that was so popular a few years ago?  That's a twist on the same Bible verse.  What would Jesus do?  He would treat even the lowest of the world with loving respect.


So, there you have it.  Even those who say they don't believe in God can still live by that rule.  Call it respect if you want.  The principle is the same.  Everyone wants to be loved, accepted and forgiven.  Who are we to deny to others what we want for ourselves?  Think about it...

Letting Go

It doesn't take a lot of strength to hang on. It takes a lot of strength to let go.

~J. C. Watts~

I love my life as a wife and mother.  It's all I ever wanted to be when I was a little girl.  My problem is that I'm having a really hard time transitioning from being a "mommy" to being a "mother".  I know the problem is ME because I should have made this transition by now.  My "babies" (and they will ALWAYS be my babies!) are grown men heading into middle age but I still want to be the one who heals their boo-boos with magic kisses and makes them better.  Definitely unrealistic.  Parenting adult children is the hardest thing I think I've ever done.  Apparently, I'm not very good at it, either, but I'm trying.


When my oldest son got married, he chose the song "Wind Beneath My Wings" for the mother-son dance.  As we were dancing, he whispered in my ear "this is the perfect song because you really are my hero".  I've thought of that so much in the last three months as he struggles to live without the love of his life.  Somehow I feel as if I've failed him and am no longer his hero.  I don't like that feeling.


After my youngest son was divorced, he spent some part of almost every day at my home.  Most evenings, he had dinner with us and talked - mostly to his dad.  Now, he rarely has time for us - well, me - anymore.  He still spends time with his dad at his own home.  Even his brother is spending most of his days there as well and has dinner there most nights.


The three men in my life have formed a lasting bond that won't be broken.  I'm so glad they're all close and comfortable with each other.  Unfortunately for me, I feel left out and unappreciated.  I don't mean to feel this way and try very hard not to take it personally.  Sadly, that's not my nature so I just keep that to myself (most of the time... lol) because more than anything in the world, I want them all to be happy and have carefree lives.


I know that I need to put my focus on the remaining years I have left with the love of MY life and let my sons make their own choices even if I believe the choices they make aren't in their best interests.  Letting go is NOT one of my strengths but I've gained enough wisdom over the years to know it's necessary - especially when it comes to being a parent.


Most of my friends are mothers of adults just like me.  Tell me, friends, how do YOU do it?  Desperate minds want to know...