Broken Promises and Disappointment

We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.
~Martin Luther King, Jr~

We all have people in our lives who we can depend on to keep promises. We all also have those in our lives for whom we know a promise has no more substance than a passing breeze.


Growing up, I learned quickly that "I promise" really meant "no".  I vividly recall the first time I became aware that a promise was really a no.  I had asked my stepfather either FOR something or to DO something - honestly, I don't remember what the "promise" was about.  Whatever it was clearly isn't important now but he said yes.  I asked him "Do you promise?" and of course he said "Yes, I promise."  I remember that my shoulders dropped with a deep sigh and my head turned downward as I replied weakly "Ok".  I walked away knowing that whatever it was that I wanted I wasn't going to get.  In my opinion, a broken promise is tantamount to being lied to and no one likes that.
 


For me, a promise is about trust.  It's about keeping your word.  It's about making an effort to do something for someone else.  If you don't plan to keep a promise don't make it.  It's just that simple.  I understand that things happen that are out of our control and sometimes it's not possible to keep a particular promise.  When that happens, own it.  Explain the situation, apologize and offer to make every effort to correct the situation.


This memory came to the surface recently when someone made a promise to me and then didn't keep it.  It was something important to me and the breaking of the promise was quite disappointing and disillusioning.  It boggles my mind how a person can spend years overcoming the insecurities they learned during childhood only to have it all come flooding back in just one moment.


The saddest part for me is that the act of breaking a promise devalues the person who made the promise.  It's like having someone fall from a pedestal.  I know, I shouldn't put people on a pedestal but I do.


After my realization about my stepdad's promises, I had some trust issues.  But God is good and He put someone in my life who would teach me that what I had learned as a child was not how things were supposed to be.  This person took a broken little girl, married her and then taught her to trust.  My husband doesn't break promises.  If he doesn't think he can keep a promise, he doesn't make it.  Rather, he promises to do his best and leave it at that.


So, that's my vent.  Supposedly, letting it out will make you feel better.  We shall see.  For now, I've dropped back a few steps and have to get it gear and get myself back to where I was.  And I will.  To anyone who reads this, I would say please be careful with your promises.  You never know how breaking them might affect someone.