Saying Goodbye

It is the will of God and Nature that these mortal bodies be laid aside, when the soul is to enter into real life; 'tis rather an embrio state, a preparation for living; a man is not completely born until he be dead:  Why then should we grieve that a new child is born among the immortals?
~Benjamin Franklin~

This week I had to say a final goodbye to an uncle who I loved dearly.  He was my mother's oldest brother and the uncle who prepared a huge feast for me and my family when we stopped for a short visit last month as we were passing by on our way elsewhere.  I'm so grateful that I got to see him one last time but will always regret that I didn't spend more time with him.

My mother was the oldest of five children and I am her oldest.  My father left when I was just 2 so we moved in with my grandparents.  My mother's brothers and sisters lived there as well so I was literally raised with them.  My aunts and uncles became more like siblings than aunts and uncles and through the years, I became extremely close and attached to them all.

This uncle was different, though.  Uncle Doodle (as we called him) was the life of the party everywhere he went.  No matter what kind of day you were having, when you spent a few hours with him, your spirits were lifted and your face hurt from laughing.

He loved his family and made them his first priority in life.  He made sure everyone was taken care of before he took care of himself.  He loved being the center of attention if it was beneficial to someone else but he never wanted the personal attention on himself.  Does that make sense?

Uncle Doodle had a heart of gold that I never appreciated through the years.  Maybe it wasn't that I didn't appreciate it, rather it was that I took it for granted.  He was who he was and we all just accepted that about him.  But, really, isn't that true for most of us?

It hit me since I've been home that whenever someone we care about dies, we think about all the little things about them that we either never noticed, never knew or just didn't appreciate about them.  I've been thinking about all the times my uncle did something nice for me and am struck by the numerous times he showed his love for me through the years.

He and I shared a common love for the Washington Redskins.  He once gave me a Redskins throw that I keep on a rocking chair in my living room.  At the time I didn't know he was such a fan.  When I learned that fact about him, the throw became more special to me.  Some years ago when I visited, he made a planter for me in the shape of a wishing well.  That, too, has become more dear to me.

I used to wonder if my uncle 'liked' me (my childhood word for 'love') but I don't wonder anymore.  One of my fondest memories of him is when he was going home after coming for his brother's funeral.  He kissed me on the forehead and told me he loved me.  There is nothing in this world that he could have given me that could trump that.  I had a warm, fuzzy feeling all day that day.

I know you're with your parents, brother and sister so, rest well, Uncle Doodle.  I have always loved you and now I will always miss you as well.  Godspeed..