Mom, Family and Mortality

"Life is eternal and love is immortal; And death is only a horizon, And a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight."

~Rossiter W. Raymond~

I've had my mom on my mind since my uncle's funeral.  I keep remembering her words the last couple of years of her life.  Time and again she would say "I want to go to Heaven so I can see Mama, Daddy and Ralph again".  Ralph was her youngest brother who died four years before she did.  Now, their oldest brother has joined them.  It gives me comfort to think they're all together and happy so I'm going to concentrate on that and not let the unhappy thoughts that are running through my mind today win.

If Mom were alive today, we'd be celebrating her 81st birthday.  Somehow, that doesn't seem very old anymore.  I remember when I was a teenager and she was in her late thirties.  She would make comments about needing to lose weight or having to do something with her hair or something like that and I would think to myself "Why? Who cares what you look like?  You're old."  Notice I said I thought it to myself?  I'm not stupid now and wasn't then either.  I knew there were some comments better left to yourself.

Both of my parents were from large families and both are gone.  Mom was the first of five and my dad was the third of eight.  My mom has two sisters left and my dad has one brother and two sisters.  Losing parents is something we all expect to happen in our lifetimes but does anyone ever give a thought to losing aunts and uncles and what that means?  For me, it means that my generation is quickly moving to the top and is the next generation to start dying off.  That's a humbling thought.

This 'facing one's own mortality' can be a good thing, I suppose.  It can cause you to take stock of your life and make whatever changes you feel you need to make.  For me, it means making sure that those I love know it.  It means getting my genealogical work in some sort of order so it can be passed on to the next generation.  It means trying to find a way to continue the work my friend and I do for National Police Week each year after we're both gone.  In other words, it means making sure my priorities are in the right order and taken care of.  I don't have a bucket list but if I did, that's what would be on it.

Isn't it funny that I can think that my mom wouldn't be all that old today but I feel ancient?  Perspective is a confusing thing sometimes.

Happy birthday, Mom.