My Sisters, My Friends

But what Mom never told me is that along the way, you find sisters, and they find you. Girls are cool that way.
~Adriana Trigiani, "Viola in Reel Life"~

Isn't it funny how we can want something so much it hurts and then one day, we realize we've had it all along?  That's me with sisters. I was an only girl raised with three brothers.  Don't get me wrong - I love all of my brothers but I always wanted a sister.  In my mind, sisters were best friends and confidants.

Since I had to grow up without a sister, I thought surely, God would give me a daughter.  Well, guess what?  He didn't.  I have two wonderful, amazing sons who I love more than anything in the world but I still wanted that daughter.  I don't know what it is about me that I wanted that close female bond but I guess it just wasn't meant to be.

I suppose that my desire to have a sister came from the fact that we lived with my grandparents when I was young and I got to see the sisterly bond between my mother's two sisters.  They were 10 and 12 years older than me so it was as if they were my sisters too but when you're four years old, your fourteen and sixteen year old sisters don't want you hanging aroung all the time.

My desire for that sister and then the daughter never went away but I've learned something recently.  I HAVE sisters.  No, we don't share blood but I couldn't love my 'chosen' sisters any more if they were related by blood.

Obviously, my aunts are the next best thing I have to blood sisters but they're not the only ones.  I have two female cousins who I've become close to over the last couple of years.  In fact, I just MET one of them in the last couple of years.  I would call on either one of them if I needed a shoulder and hope they feel they can do the same for me. Yes, Debbie Doo and Teresa - I'm speaking about the two of you.

But let me tell you about my 'chosen' sisters. There are four of them and I think the world of all of them.

First, there's Claire.  She and I have been friends for over 30 years.  We met when her son and my youngest son played t-ball together. We'd sit in the bleachers and cheer on our babies at every single game. Neither of us ever missed one in the early years.  Claire's husband was in the Navy and usually out to sea.  Mine was a cop and worked evenings back then.  I guess that's one reason we clicked.  After our kids got older and started having their own social lives, sometimes one of us would call the other and say "wanna go here or there or do this or that"?  Claire has always been there when I needed her and not once has she ever made me feel that it was out obligation.

Then there's Sue.  Sue and I met over 20 years ago when her son and my oldest son were roommates when they were both away for a summer.  Sue has proven to be a rock in some pretty rough times for me.  She has always been there and, like Claire, has never made me feel there was anything less than friendship between us.

My first "on-line" friend is Rene.  She and I "met" when we were both subscribed to a Patrick Swayze fan email group.  We started corresponding "off list" and it wasn't long until we realized how much we had in common.  We exchanged phone numbers and would call each other often.  After some time, we decided it was time to meet in person.  She and her husband were going to come to where I lived to meet my husband and me.  We were both wondering the same thing - should they stay at my house or a hotel?  We finally brought up the subject and, after each of us swearing to the other that we weren't axe murderers, it was agreed that they would stay with us.  It's been about 15 years since that first email and we're still close as ever. It was Rene who first called us 'chosen sisters'.  Rene always makes me feel that I'm an important part of her life.

Finally, there's Pattie.  I also met Pattie online.  It was probably 13-14 years ago when I first ventured into a couple of law enforcement-themed forums.  One was for the spouses of police officers and the other was about remembering and honoring fallen police officers.  Pattie was in both forums and I think we 'clicked' right away.  Like Rene, Pattie and I had a lot of similarities and things in common.  I don't think I realized how much we 'clicked' until someone wrote something derogatory about female officers.  My first thought was that I didn't want Pattie to see that and be insulted.  Pattie was an officer and her 'other half' as she calls him, is also.  Pattie says that's what started our friendship but I disagree.  I think the seeds of great friendship - great sister-hood - had already been planted.  She and I finally met in person for the first time in May 2000 when I ventured to DC for my first Police Week experience.  She'd already been going for several years and had already started doing what would very quickly become OUR labor of love.  Like Rene, Pattie always made sure I knew I was a special part of her life.

So, God DID give me sisters.  He just waited until I was old enough to appreciate them and then He gave me four.  These four women - these four STRONG women - have become my sisters, my confidants, my rocks and my best friends.  Add to that my two aunts and my two cousins and I am truly blessed.

Aunt Ginny, Aunt Mary, Debbie Doo, Teresa, Claire, Sue, Rene and Pattie - I love you all and you are ALL so very special to me.  Thank you, God, for putting them all in my life.