On Mothers and Mothers-in-law

I miss thee, my Mother! Thy image is still The deepest impressed on my heart.
~Eliza Cook~

It's been two years since we lost my mom and nine months since we lost my mother-in-law.  How strange to have a Christmas with neither of them.  Both moms were a big part of our celebration and I miss them both- especially at this time of the year.

Both moms always got along quite well and really seemed to enjoy each other's company in later years.  They each taught me something about getting old and the circle of life.  My mother deteriorated physically while my mother-in-law suffered with Alzheimer's.  I'm not sure which is worse - a failing body or a failing mind.

The year that my husband retired, we decided to spend his birthday weekend with our son and daughter-in-law who lived in another state.  I suggested that we take our mothers since neither of them had ever been to their grandson's home.  My husband asked if I was sure I wanted to do that and I told him it would be good.  The moms could sit in the back seat and his mom could tell my mom the same stories over and over and it would be okay because my mom couldn't hear them anyway.

Both moms preferred to sleep sitting up and each wanted our son's recliner.  It turned out that his love seat had two recliners so they both slept on the love seat.  I say 'slept' but what they really did was talk and giggle all night long like a couple of school girls on a sleep over.  Because of my mom's hearing loss, both mom's spoke loudly and never gave it a thought that the rest of us could hear them.

None of us begrudged our moms/grandmoms their company but we all agreed, with loving smiles, that we'd never take a road trip with the two of them together again.  With all the 'pee stops' and "Oh! Look! Can we stop there?" stops, the 8-hour drive took us about 12 hours.

After my mom moved in with us, she wouldn't climb the stairs to go to bed so she slept in her recliner in the living room.  When my mother-in-law would visit, she insisted on sleeping in the living room with my mom.  Again, it was like two school girls on a sleep over but this time,  we were far enough away that their giggling and non-stop chatter didn't keep us awake.

When my mom passed away, I was concerned about how it would affect my mother-in-law.  They (whoever "they" are) say things happen for a reason.  I guess it's true that God does what He does because He knows best.  My mother-in-law's Alzheimer's was a blessing in this case.  She took the news as though we'd told her a neighbor had died and then promptly forgot.  Every time we'd visit her, she'd ask how my mother was.  After several times of telling her that my mom had passed away and listening to the condolences only to have her ask about my mom, I would just tell her that my mom was doing fine.  For some reason, that seemed to stick and 'other mother' didn't ask again until the next time we visited.

It gives me a lot of comfort to think of my moms together in Heaven, giggling and driving the Angels crazy with their school girl silliness but I miss them both.  I'm so very blessed that I have that to comfort me.