Can Forgiving Make You Happy?

Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.

~Lewis B. Smedes~

Have you ever been hurt or wronged to the point that you shout "I'll never forgive you!"?  I haven't and can't imagine any scenario in which I would say that or even feel that way.  I'm a forgiving person by nature and always - ALWAYS - forgive.  It's not something I plan or even make a conscious effort to do, it just happens.  It doesn't always happen right away - in fact, it rarely happens right away.  Sometimes I have to slush through the muck that is anger or hurt to get there but I DO get there.


I learned a long time ago that forgiving someone doesn't mean you forgive or even accept the behavior.  It means that you forgive the person and you're letting go of the hurt and anger.  Forgiving is an act of healing and of loving yourself.  And yes, it IS a component of being a happy person.


When you forgive, you let go.  When you let go, you free yourself.  You free yourself to concentrate on that which makes you happy.  It takes a lot of energy - negative energy - to hold a grudge.  You have to constantly remember the hurt or wrong done you and you also have to constantly FEEL it as well.  How can anyone be happy like that?


There are times when the same person hurts you over and over and over.  Each time, you need to forgive that person.  Then you need to remove yourself from the line of fire.  As I said, forgiving does not mean accepting.  There are people who are no longer part of my life because they wronged me too many times.  I forgave them then removed them from my life.


Forgiving does not make you a doormat.  It takes a strong person to forgive and then move past the hurt.  It takes practice and commitment.  You have to decide to forgive and then let it go.  Forgiving does not mean forgetting.  It just means that the hurt is no longer a focus.  It's a hard thing to do when it's a foreign concept to you but as you make an effort, it becomes easier.


And there is another, probably the most important part, of forgiveness.  We will all stand before our Heavenly Father one day and want His forgiveness.  How can we ask for that which we ourselves are not willing to give?


So, there you have it - my recipe for happiness:  Think positively, be grateful and forgive.  I would go one step farther and say that another part is in having faith in something greater than yourself.  For me, that is God.  Knowing that He is guiding my life and protecting me with His Divine love is the best feeling in the world.   How wonderful life is when you're happy!