Killing Babies

"Abortion and racism are both symptoms of a fundamental human error. The error is thinking that when someone stands in the way of our wants, we can justify getting that person out of our lives. Abortion and racism stem from the same poisonous root, selfishness."

~Alveda King~

 

Why would ANY woman carry a baby for 9 months and THEN decide she doesn't want it so she'll "abort" it??????  At this point, abortion is a purely selfish decision.  I can’t imagine any reason for killing a baby that’s less than a minute from being born other than the mother doesn’t want to spend the rest of her life wondering about the baby she gave up for adoption or, worse yet, having that baby show up 20 years later and “ruin” the perfect life she’s created for herself.  Maybe she can use such a late term abortion to garner sympathy and pity for herself by telling everyone her baby was stillborn.

I just can’t wrap my head around the concept.  In my most humble opinion, women who do this have mental issues.  I make no apologies if that statement is offensive.  Murder in any form is offensive to me but most especially if it’s an innocent life that has been taken.

What if, when that baby reaches the “terrible twos”, the mother decides she can’t take it anymore and decides to have her toddler euthanized?  Far-fetched, you say?  Why?  Isn’t it the same principle?  The child is a problem for the mother so get rid of the problem.  Don’t let someone else have that child because the mother’s life might be upset many years down the road.

I could write about this until my fingers fall off but I won’t.  Human life is precious and the most valuable thing we have right after our Lord’s love.  No human – even a mother – has the right to distinguish that life.  I recently read somewhere that “the only reason abortion is legal is because babies can’t vote”.  I don’t remember who the author of that quote was but it made a lot of sense to me.  At some point, society is going to have to step up and take responsibility for the mess this world is in.

One final thought:  Woe be unto the person who takes an innocent life when that person has to stand before our Saviour.  I would NOT want to be in his or her shoes.

 

“When men strive together and hit a pregnant woman, so that her children come out, but there is no harm, the one who hit her shall surely be fined, as the woman’s husband shall impose on him, and he shall pay as the judges determine. But if there is harm, then you shall pay life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burn for burn, wound for wound, stripe for stripe.  Exodus 21:22-25

Ah! The Simple Things!

"If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if a blade of grass springing up in the fields has power to move you, if the simple things of nature have a message that you understand, rejoice, for your soul is alive."

~Eleonora Duse~

How many people do you know who get upset when they don’t have (or get) the “big” things in life?  How many wish for more money, a bigger house, a better car, exotic vacations or more?  Have you noticed that even if those people get those things, they’re still not happy?

So, what’s the deal?  Don’t those things make a perfect and satisfying life?  How can you be unhappy with the ability to have and do anything you want?   Frankly, if you’re not happy without those things, you’re probably not going to be happy with them either.

I haven’t checked the world stats but more Americans than ever before are taking antidepressants.   By no stretch of the imagination am I an historian or a statistician but it seems to me that people were a lot happier when times were simpler.

Have you ever watched a baby at Christmas?  They are more excited by the wrappings and bows than by what’s inside the boxes.  Their little faces light up when someone plays peek-a-boo with them.  They are happy yet they have no concept of “things”.  They don’t care if they have the most expensive car seat, the fanciest toys or even designer clothes.  I think we could learn a lot from babies and toddlers.

When is the last time you looked up at the sky and thought “what a beautiful blue sky”?  What about a sunset or sunrise?  Do you take notice of the beautiful fall colors?  Have you ever been in a bad mood and had someone say something nice to you?  That usually brings a smile to my face.  I don’t know about you but I can’t be in a bad mood if I’m smiling.

One of my most favorite tangible things in the entire world is a rose.  Not only is it beautiful but the scent is wonderful.  I’m happy when I get roses as a bouquet whether it be one dozen or one hundred dozen but there’s just something so special about a single rose.

That bigger, better, more expensive car and house, those designer clothes and that enormous bank account is much like that dozen roses.  They’re so very nice to have and certainly will bring a smile to your face but they alone are not going to keep that smile for long nor will they produce happiness.

If you can’t find appreciation for the little things then you won’t find appreciation for the “big” things in the long run.  You’ll enjoy them at first then after awhile they won’t matter at all.  You’ll start searching for something bigger or better that you’re sure will make you happy – and they will for a very short time.

A hug from a child, a compliment from a stranger, a beautiful sunset or a walk with someone you love – these are the greatest treasures in the world.  If you can find yourself appreciating them, then you’re on the way to being happy.

It’s okay to have dreams and desires but when you place too much value on those things and desires, then you won’t be satisfied with what you have. True happiness comes from being satisfied with what you have and appreciating that you have so much more than so many others.  It’s true – one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.  Matthew 6:21

Would Jesus Build a Wall?

Men of sense often learn from their enemies. It is from their foes, not their friends, that cities learn the lesson of building high walls and ships of war.

~Aristophanes~

I’ve been hearing all kinds of arguments for and against a wall on our Southern border lately.  My inclination is to agree that a wall needs to be built but part of me wonders if that’s the right Christian attitude.

God has certainly told us to love others as we love ourselves.  He has told us to help those who need help even to the point of giving up to everything to help them.  We know that God will provide for us and take care of our needs if we just and obey Him.  So, does building a wall go against His will?

The truth is, I don’t have a definitive answer to that question.  I don’t think anyone really does.  Some are of the thinking “what would Jesus do?” and answer with "He wouldn't build a wall".  I understand that trying to live that credo is a way of trying to live as Christ-like a life as we are humanly able.  Frankly, I don’t know what Jesus would do.  None of us really know that in every instance.  He has information we don’t.  He knows our hearts and our motives - far better than we know ourselves.

The Bible is full of references to God having walls built

1.     For he said to Judah, "Let us build these cities and surround them with walls and towers, gates and bars. The land is still ours because we have sought the LORD our God; we have sought Him, and He has given us rest on every side." So they built and prospered. 2 Chronicles 14:7

2.    Then I said to them, "You see the bad situation we are in, that Jerusalem is desolate and its gates burned by fire. Come, let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem so that we will no longer be a reproach."  Nehemiah 2:17

3.    "Now behold, I have made you today as a fortified city and as a pillar of iron and as walls of bronze against the whole land, to the kings of Judah, to its princes, to its priests and to the people of the land.  Jeremiah 1:18

4.    "I searched for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand in the gap before Me for the land, so that I would not destroy it; but I found no one. Ezekiel 22:30

And let us not forget how Revelation describes Heaven:  It had a great and high wall, with twelve gates, and at the gates twelve angels; and names were written on them, which are the names of the twelve tribes of the sons of Israel. There were three gates on the east and three gates on the north and three gates on the south and three gates on the west. And the wall of the city had twelve foundation stones, and on them were the twelve names of the twelve apostles of the Lamb  Revelation 21:12-19

Now this seems to suggest that building a wall is almost Biblical, doesn’t it?  I did a little (admittedly very little) research looking for anything in the Bible that suggested building walls is wrong or a sin but didn’t find anything.  However; I did look at references to immigration and immigrants. Here are a few of the verses I found:

1.     "Cursed is anyone who withholds justice from the foreigner, the fatherless or the widow.” Then all the people shall say, “Amen!”  Deuteromy 27:19

2.    “Do not oppress a foreigner; you yourselves know how it feels to be foreigners, because you were foreigners in Egypt."  Exodus 23:9

3.    Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.  Hebrews 13:2

4.    “When you reap the harvest of your land, do not reap to the very edges of your field or gather the gleanings of your harvest. Leave them for the poor and for the foreigner residing among you. I am the LORD your God.”  Leviticus 23:22

So, we can surmise that 1) it’s not a sin to build a wall and 2) we are supposed to treat foreigners with respect and love.  But there’s one more thing that I need to consider for me to be comfortable that supporting a wall is not anti-Christian.

It’s not just poor families looking for a better life who are sneaking across our border.  Our Southern border is the way in for people from the middle East, Central America, Turkey, and Asian countries to name a few.  It’s not just that these people are from other countries and seeking a better way of life, it’s that some of people who are sneaking into our country aren't interested in bettering their lives.

There have been many documented instances where an illegal alien (I refuse to call them "undocumented") committed serious crimes and did harm to our citizens - even to the point of death.

I don’t know anyone who believes there should be no immigration at all.  Most of us are average people who just want a safe country in which to live and raise our families.  No one I know is against helping the refugees, the poor, the infirmed.  We just want to make sure we’re protected so we can be around to offer a safe haven for those who might need it.  Immigration REFORM should be the focus of our representatives in Washington.  We need to streamline the process so it doesn’t take years from initial request to actual entry.  And once the immigrants ARE here, we need a better process that leads to citizenship so those people can become productive American Citizens.

So, after all of that, I’m comfortable in agreeing that we need to build the wall.

Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord, the people he chose for his inheritance.  Psalm 33:12

Let Go and Let God

"When you let go, something magical happens.  You give God room to work"

~Mandy Hale~

Whenever I have problems in my life, I do my best to “give it to God”.  The problem is that, while I really do give the problem to Him, I just can’t seem to let it go completely.  I tend to keep my hands on it as if letting go would make me less somehow.  When I saw the above quote, it was like one of those “AHA” moments that you hear about all the time: I’M IN GOD’S WAY!  Instead of giving my problems to God, it’s more like I’m “sharing” them with Him as if they were milk and cookies.

I don’t think it’s that I don’t trust God to handle it without my help; rather I think I just don’t want to give up control.  Now THAT is an epiphany I should have had years ago!

I never thought I was a control freak, but maybe I am sometimes.  Now and then I do find myself muttering under my breath “if you want something done right, do it yourself”.  Understand, please, that it’s not a conscious thought when attempting to “let go and let God” – as if I could do anything better than God can do it - but certainly it is during those times when dealing with other mere mortals.  The problem with that line of thinking is that it assumes I’m the only one who knows how to do it right or can do it right.  How egotistical is that!

So now that I’ve had this epiphany, I need to learn how to let go.  I’m flying blind here so I could use some prayers.   The only thing I can think to do is to try to remind myself when I’m attempting to “fix” something on my own or in my own way that I’ve given this to God and I need to stop and get out of His way.  I also need to remind myself that God works according to His time table – not mine.  Patience is most certainly NOT a virtue I possess.  Maybe I just don’t like to be left out of the loop.  I guess that’s as good a reason as any for hanging on to something I say I’ve let go.

You know, with all the wonderfulness that will be Heaven, I think my second favorite part will be in not having to worry or wonder about God’s plan or waiting on His time table.  My favorite part?  Well, that’s meeting my Lord and Savior of course!

Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!

Psalm 27:14

Happy New Year!

“You can’t go back and change the beginning but you can start where you are and change the ending.”

~Unknown~

The above quote has been attributed to many people including CS Lewis, Abraham Lincoln, Benjamin Franklin and Mark Twain.  Whoever said it was clever indeed.  It’s really such a simple statement but it contains so much commonsense that it makes one go "Well DUH!" and slap themselves on the forehead with the palm of their hand.

It's also a very good introduction to my first blog in quite some time.  Things are going to be a little different from here on out because I'm a little different.  My faith in God is going to play a bigger role from now on because it plays a bigger role in my life.  If you’re not a person of faith, it’s okay.  Read anyway.  You may learn something or maybe you might teach me something.  I’m ok with that.

So begins a brand new day in a brand new month in a brand new year. - even more important, in our lives.  We wake up each morning with two choices.  We can either groan and take the attitude of “another miserable day” or we can be grateful for another opportunity to make a difference.  I have learned that welcoming a new day as a second (or third or fourth or 100^th) chance has made a difference in my quality of life.  I’m almost never in a bad mood, don’t feel depressed, rarely have a headache unless I’m coming down with something and I’m not as sensitive about things as I once was.

Our God is the God of second chances.  We will never reach a place in our lives where God won’t give us another chance to begin fresh.  He walks with us every moment of every day and waits patiently for us to reach out to him for help.

Have you ever watched someone walking with their shoulders slumped, head leaning forward and face looking down at the street?  Can’t you almost see the dark cloud of doom that surely must be hanging over their head?  How can anyone feel good with a posture like that?  It literally visualizes the feeling of having the weight of the world on your shoulders.  I mean, really, can’t you actually SEE the weights pressing down on his or her shoulders?

I challenge you – stand up right now.  Hunch down, bring your shoulders down and stare down at the floor.  How does it feel?  Do you feel powerful or weak?  Do you feel as if you can accomplish anything?  Smile.  It feels kind of weird – even a bit fake, doesn’t it?

Ok, now, straighten your back.  Hold your head up and pull your shoulders back.  Do you feel the difference?  Doesn’t that feel better?  Isn’t it like your mood improved almost instantly?  Now, smile.  It doesn’t feel weird or fake this time, does it?

I didn’t mean for this to turn into a lesson on how to get out of a funk but if it helps someone, then that’s cool.  I’ll leave it there just in case.  None of us are so strong that we can’t use a little help sometimes.  And none of us are so weak that we can’t regain our strength.

Anyway, my point is that we all have the capacity to be happy and to have a positive outlook on life even when things don’t seem to be going our way.  Just like what you’re going to wear today or eat for dinner tonight, your mood and outlook on life is a choice that you make every day.

As you begin each new day, think about what you’re feeling.  Are you feeling down and gloomy?  Do you feel the effort just isn’t worth the outcome?  Do you feel a sense of dread?  Are things going to happen today that have the potential to ruin the best of moods?  Probably.  Is there anything you can do about those things?  Probably not.

So where does that leave you?  It leaves you with a choice to make.  Are you going to let the weight of all that negativity bear down on your shoulders so that you crouch like an old man or woman who now stands half the height they once were?  It’s exhausting carrying that load!  So put it down already!

Stand tall with a straight back, squared shoulders and head held high.  Look at the world around you and be glad.  You just made a better choice.  Keep up the good work!

“This is the day that the Lord has made.  Let us rejoice and be glad in it”.

Psalm 118:24

Broken Promises and Disappointment

We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.
~Martin Luther King, Jr~

We all have people in our lives who we can depend on to keep promises. We all also have those in our lives for whom we know a promise has no more substance than a passing breeze.


Growing up, I learned quickly that "I promise" really meant "no".  I vividly recall the first time I became aware that a promise was really a no.  I had asked my stepfather either FOR something or to DO something - honestly, I don't remember what the "promise" was about.  Whatever it was clearly isn't important now but he said yes.  I asked him "Do you promise?" and of course he said "Yes, I promise."  I remember that my shoulders dropped with a deep sigh and my head turned downward as I replied weakly "Ok".  I walked away knowing that whatever it was that I wanted I wasn't going to get.  In my opinion, a broken promise is tantamount to being lied to and no one likes that.
 


For me, a promise is about trust.  It's about keeping your word.  It's about making an effort to do something for someone else.  If you don't plan to keep a promise don't make it.  It's just that simple.  I understand that things happen that are out of our control and sometimes it's not possible to keep a particular promise.  When that happens, own it.  Explain the situation, apologize and offer to make every effort to correct the situation.


This memory came to the surface recently when someone made a promise to me and then didn't keep it.  It was something important to me and the breaking of the promise was quite disappointing and disillusioning.  It boggles my mind how a person can spend years overcoming the insecurities they learned during childhood only to have it all come flooding back in just one moment.


The saddest part for me is that the act of breaking a promise devalues the person who made the promise.  It's like having someone fall from a pedestal.  I know, I shouldn't put people on a pedestal but I do.


After my realization about my stepdad's promises, I had some trust issues.  But God is good and He put someone in my life who would teach me that what I had learned as a child was not how things were supposed to be.  This person took a broken little girl, married her and then taught her to trust.  My husband doesn't break promises.  If he doesn't think he can keep a promise, he doesn't make it.  Rather, he promises to do his best and leave it at that.


So, that's my vent.  Supposedly, letting it out will make you feel better.  We shall see.  For now, I've dropped back a few steps and have to get it gear and get myself back to where I was.  And I will.  To anyone who reads this, I would say please be careful with your promises.  You never know how breaking them might affect someone.

How Bad Can It Get?

No matter how bad you think you have it, there is always - ALWAYS - someone who has it way, way worse.

~Vince Flynn~

It seems to me that there are more people than ever who are having hard times in one way or another.  The majority of the time, I'm sure they've heard that someone always has it worse.  My question is "when is it the worst?".  Surely there must be a point where there is no worse - right?


I suppose that "worse" could be a state of mind.  What might be the worse for one person may not be for another.  For example, one might think the worst is being homeless and living on the street.  Is it?  What if they're basically healthy but just can't support themselves?  Worse could be a homeless person who is chronically sick or might even have a terminal disease.  Could it get worse than that?


What if the wealthiest person in the world has no friends or family?  Money can give them all of the necessities and creature comforts known to man.  But it can't buy real friends or love.  A life without friends or love MUST be the worse - right?


So, does "worse" mean that's the way it is for the rest of your life?  Winston Churchill said "when you're going through Hell, keep going".  That makes me think that worse is not permanent.  Certainly, if you're going through bad times but there's an end to it - even if you can't see it at the time - is that the worst?  Could the worst be spending the rest of your life experiencing the worst?  Is there something even worse than that?


I believe there IS a point when it can get no worse and it's the same point for all of us.  None of us have gone (or will go) through the absolute worse in our lifetimes but many are going through it and many more will.  How is that possible? you ask.  Well, in my opinion, the worst happens after we die.  I believe it's not possible to experience anything worse than spending an eternity of agony, torture and hopelessness that comes from having died and been condemned to Hell.


Now, I'm not going to preach.  We all have our own beliefs concerning what happens to us after we die.  I'm not going to tell you that my belief is the only right one or even that it's the MOST right one.  But I AM going to ask you to search your heart and listen carefully to what it tells you.  If you are atheist and don't believe in Heaven and Hell, I especially beseech you to consider that you might be wrong.  If you're not, what have you lost?


God loves you all and I'm really trying.


 

Not Keeping it Classy

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
~Ogden Nash~

I have to say, I really didn't want to get back into this but when I logged on to Facebook this morning, my newsfeed was overflowing with more of this and posts intended to make fun of and degrade these women. I had my fill, so here I go...


I was in DC for the inaugurations of President Trump.  That was my ONLY reason for going.  However, while there, I got to witness firsthand the asinine immaturity of a small representation of American women.  I was appalled, ashamed and embarrassed.  The vulgarity of both their displays and their words were offensive.  I was shocked at how much they didn't seem to mind that there were small children in their midst.  I have to wonder if those children had drawn such pictures or used such language, how quickly - or even IF - they would have been taken to task.


As they littered their march with claims of being a "nasty woman", I asked myself if they really thought anyone would take them seriously.  I've heard much mocking of these women in the days since I've been home and am so glad I was not, am not and would never be a part of those women.  You will never hear me claim to be a "nasty woman"; rather, I will be a CLASSY WOMAN.


I'm tired of hearing the argument that tampons and pads are taxed while Rogaine and Viagra are not.  First of all, Viagra is a prescription drug and ALL prescription drugs in the US are tax exempt.  Secondly, Rogaine is a treatment for both men and women so that's an invalid comparison.  As for tampons and pads, please tell me what men use that can compare.  I can think of nothing.


And then there were the ones wearing replicas of uteruses on their heads (did I mention how immature some of these women were?) and carrying signs that read "my uterus, my business".  I'm not sure what exactly this protest was but my best guess is they were pro-choice advocates.


It should be noted that there were many men in this march as well.  Some of them were wearing the same ridiculous outfits and carrying the same obscene signs as the women.  I was watching them and watching the little girls in the march and wondering how they could, in good conscience, expose these little women-in-the making to the disrespect that these women have brought upon themselves.


And don't get me started on Madonna and Ashley Judd!  I can promise you, they DO NOT represent me or any of my women friends.  If I were raising a daughter today, they and their "ilk" are the LAST women I would want for role models.  No one will ever convince me that these women have respect for themselves (or others) when they act as they do.


I assume this march was supposed to be in protest of Donald Trump.  I don't buy it.  Why wait until the day after he's inaugurated to protest?  The time for such events has long passed.  Nothing is going to change now.  Protest until the cows come home if you want.  Donald Trump will still be president and HE isn't going to take you seriously either.


Just one classy woman's opinion...

With apologies to Wiliam Shakespeare: To Trust or not to Trust: that is the Question.

Put more trust in nobility of character than in an oath.
~Solon~

While Hamlet may have been considering suicide and the damnation that might come after, so we, too, have an important choice to make.  As with every election I can remember, our choices seem to come down to the lesser of two evils.  The choices for this election seem to be particularly bad.  In this post, I am not going to endorse either candidate but I AM going to ask YOU some questions that I hope will give you some food for thought.


There are many concerns about the moral compass of both Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton - and with good reason.  Information has been made public about both candidates that is disturbing on a good day. This is not that good day.  The choice we have to make is not only important, it's vital to the future of our country and its citizens.  The most important question is "who do you trust"?  Here are some others:


First question:  Instead of just listening, do you actually HEAR what the candidates are saying?  What about what they're NOT saying?  Do you blindly trust what they tell you or do you do your own research?  Do you listen to both candidates with the same fervor or do you listen to whatever will paint a particular candidate in a good or bad light?


Second question:  Do you base your vote on a single issue or do you consider all issues equally important?  Is there any issue that is a "deal-breaker" for you?  Can you forego your conscience and vote for the candidate who agrees with you on every issue except that one "deal-breaker"?


Third question: Is a code of ethics a consideration for you or do you prefer a candidate who will do what needs to be done even if it's unethical?  Can a person be morally bankrupt yet have the skills, intelligence, thoughtfulness and focus to be a good leader?  Is it important to you that we have a person of faith lead our country?


Fourth question:  Do you have discussions about the candidates and the issues with people of all opinions?  Do you seek information or do you wait for it to come to you?  Do you believe only what you hear on the news or in commercials or do you question what you hear?  Do you ever question yourself about what you really believe and why?  Have you considered all angles of an issue?


Fifth question:  Do you measure the value of a candidate based on outside forces?  Does physical appearance or behavior influence you?  Do you pay attention to body language and voice inflection?  Can you separate an honest mistake from what some deem a clue to a hidden agenda?


We each have only one vote and we need to use that vote to the best of our ability.  The above questions may help or maybe they won't.  Either way, we have to elect a new president.  Again, I ask:  who do you trust?


I don't know who our next president will be but we all need to pray for our country and our leaders.  And you know what?  Let's pray for our voters as well.


As always...  just my thoughts...

Strange Bedfellows

A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine.
~Thomas Jefferson~

I was challenged by a dear friend to do my own research on Donald Trump’s alleged sex crimes.  I accepted the challenge but took it one step farther.  In order to be fair and to make a better informed decision, I decided to research the Clintons as well.


Donald Trump has been accused of rape, attempted rape, inappropriate touching, groping, sexual misconduct and lewd comments concerning women.


Bill Clinton has been accused of rape, sexual misconduct, groping, exposing himself and sexual harassment.  It’s a fact that he has lied about his sexual exploits at least once.


Hillary Clinton has defended at least one man accused of raping a minor and has been accused of threatening that young girl as well several women who have made accusations against her husband.


Now, my first thought when all of this began was “Why bring Bill Clinton into this?  He’s not running for president”.  I have since decided that it’s not a bad idea.  After all, Bill was a president who had these accusations leveled at him both before and during his presidency.  This certainly gives us an indication of whether a person can be sexually immoral and still be an effective president.


I do find myself wondering how Hillary can call herself an advocate for women when she clearly has a double standard in her reactions to the women who accused Bill and Donald.  How can she condemn those who accused her husband while speaking in favor of those who accused her opponent?  I find myself thinking – no, BELIEVING – that the only woman Hillary cares about is Hillary.  Maybe she cares about her daughter.  Certainly I feel no kinship with her at all.


Somehow, all of the main issues have been lost in the midst all of these accusations.  I have to wonder if that was deliberate.  Does anyone remember where either candidate stands on any particular issue?  Who will do more to keep us safe?  Who will do more to get our economy moving again?  Who will choose the best person for the Supreme Court?  Those are some of the things on which I will base my decision – not who has the least amount of immorality.


As always… just my two cents.

On Growing Old

"Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art."
~Eleanor Roosevelt~

As a young girl, I would look at the Argyle pattern on the back of my grandfather's neck and wonder what it was like to be old.  I, of course, was never going to look like that or have wrinkles or sagging skin.  After all, I was young and always would be.


When I first noticed the diamond shaped wrinkles on my grandfather's neck, he was probably about the age I am now.  In the years since, I've noticed the pattern on other men's necks and decided it must be a "man thing" since I'd never noticed it on a woman.  Maybe that's because women tend to hide their necks beneath long hair - who knows?


Yesterday, I saw that pattern on my husband's neck and immediately thought of my grandfather.  Like a ton of bricks, it hit me that we had become the "old" people.  It's true - all of our parents and grandparents are gone.  Between the two of us, my husband and I had over 20 biological aunts and uncles.  I still have 3 biological aunts and one biological uncle left but all of my husband's are gone.  With that logic, we're not quite at the peak...yet.  Our generation is dangerously close to the beginning of the end.  That happens when people get old but, as I said, WE are NOT old.


We are both in our 60's and that is NOT old these days.  I remember both sets of parents and 3 of the 8 grandparents. They looked old; they acted old; they WERE old.  Eyesight was failing, hearing was going, memory was a come and go thing, joints ached and they just didn't have the stamina they once had.  No, that's not us at all!


Nevermind that we're both wearing bifocals now, that my husband is losing his hearing, that we both have become forgetful, that our joints ache all the time and that we can no longer do what we used to do or that what we CAN do, we can't do at the same level.  No, WE are not getting old.


I used to look at my mother's face and think to myself that I would never have wrinkles like that.  I was never going to have sagging jowls or baggy eyes.  So guess what I see when I look in the mirror?  Yes, sagging jowls, baggy eyes and my mother's wrinkles.  I don't have a clue how this happened because in my mind, I'm still 35.  My body can't do what it once did but I still feel young.


It's funny how I used to look at old people and wonder what it must be like to know you have many more years behind you than ahead of you.  I will admit - I AM at that point.  I'm fairly certain that I won't live to be over 120 years of age.  With that in mind, I have to accept that I'm on the downhill slope.  Even so, I AM NOT OLD!


My husband can easily refer to himself as an old man.  I'm not there yet - not for either of us.  In fact, one thing I've always said about myself is that I will never get old - I will just live a very long time.  To be the longest living young person is quite a feat and I'm working on achieving that goal.


Knowing all that I know and believing all that I believe, I've concluded that our bodies will get old and show the signs of aging in some very unattractive ways no matter how much we fight it or how much we deny it.  Our soul, however, is timeless and never ages.  That's why in our minds, we don't feel old.  Our minds and our hearts are the essence of who we are and who we always will be.  I am not my body so I will never get old.  I just wish I didn't have to look like I did.


Just my humble opinion...

Rights, Actions and Consequences

You can't blame anyone else ... no one but yourself. You have to make your own choices and live every agonizing day with the consequences of those choices.
~Max Brooks, World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War~

All of this hoopla surrounding standing or not standing for our national anthem has really been uppermost in my mind of late.  I find it most offensive when someone who is supposed to be a role model for our children chooses to protest by showing disrespect for something that means so much to so many.


It's true that said person (and many who have followed his lead) has the Constitutional right to protest.  It's also true that no one has to agree with or condone his actions.  There is absolutely a difference between having a right to do something and doing the right thing.


What I think he may not have considered when he started this protest is that his actions have consequences.  Not only has he been booed in public, his football jerseys have been burned and he lost some endorsements, his chosen method to protest has shifted the focus from the reason for his protest to a seemingly lack of patriotism and a figurative slap in the face to every man and woman who has fought for the liberties he takes for granted.


His "cause", I think, has some merit and does need some attention.   Showing respect to our flag, our anthem, our military and our country - all of which were disrespected, in my opinion - is not the way to further awareness about or cause action to change something.  As I said before, the reason for the protest has been lost.  You don't believe me?  Start asking everyone you see what they think this man was protesting.  No cheating by googling or researching or asking others.  Some will know, many will not.


Just my two cents...

Is Voting a Waste of Time?

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
~George Jean Nathan~

We in America do not have Government by the majority; we have Government by the majority who vote.
~Thomas Jefferson~

Both quotes above were so appropriate that I couldn't decide which to use so I used them both.

It's a shame how much voter apathy there is in the US.  Sadly, this is not a new trend. I did a little research and found a website (www.fairvote.org) that lists voter turnout for all presidential elections from 1916 through 2012.  Imagine my surprise when I discovered the largest voter turnout was in 1960 at just 63.8%.  The lowest turnout was in 1924 with 48.9% voter turnout. Unbelievable.


Things get even worse when you consider the percentage of those who are eligible to register to vote are actually registered.  According to www.demos.org, an estimated 51% percent of eligible Americans are NOT registered to vote.  Now I don't know how Demos came up with that percentage but if I were a gambling person, I'd bet they're not far off the mark.


So, now we have about 64% of 49% of Americans determining who leads our country and makes our laws.  If my calculations are correct (forgive me if math was NOT my best subject), that means that less than one third of adult Americans who are eligible make all the decisions on who is elected to lead our country.  Even if a candidate is unanimously elected, he or she is chosen by a very small percentage of the citizenry.  What a sad state of affairs!  I promise you, though, that about 90% of all Americans - or higher - will offer an opinion on the outcome of any given election.


Can you just imagine how different things might be if a majority of Americans actually registered and then voted?  What must we do to stop the apathy of the American voter?  I don't have an answer because I just can not comprehend the mindset that "my one lousy vote doesn't matter".   What if that small percentage of voters all decided to stay home on election day because of that mindset?  The candidate with the largest family would probably win the election because you know they and their families are going to vote.


I'm issuing a challenge to every American who is legally eligible to register to vote to gather his or her family and their friends who have the same mindset and register NOW and then show up to vote on November 8, 2016 and cast a ballot.  Let's find out what happens if we have an election and everybody comes.

Is It Still A Law If It's Not Enforced?

Those who object to the use of the term "Illegal Alien" appear to believe that if they can convince the American public that illegal immigration is not really illegal, then amnesty no longer is amnesty and enforcing immigration law is unnecessary.
~Eric A Ruark~

 

If there's any one issue that's been talked about during the early part of this election season it's illegal immigration.  I'll be honest here - I have absolutely no clue how to fix the problem.  Make no mistake - it IS a problem but it's a problem much larger than people coming into our country without going through the proper channels.

 

The last estimate I saw said there are about 20 million illegal immigrants in the US.  According to the Pew Research Center, only about half of them are from Mexico and about 5% of the labor force in the US is made up of illegal immigrants.

 

According to the American Immigration Counsel, the majority of illegal immigrants DO pay taxes, DON'T take jobs away from American workers, DON'T want welfare, DO want to learn English and DO want to become Americans.

 

To be perfectly honest, I don't know where either of those agencies get their information from so I can neither validate nor discredit any of the so-called "facts".   I can and will offer my personal opinions on all of it (did you really doubt I would?)

 

First of all, if you remove all the statistics from the picture - all the beliefs, the pros & cons, the good & bad, the reasons why - you end up with one undeniable fact.  It's against the law.  Pure and simple.  Now the question becomes "what can we do about it?"

 

I know there are many illegal immigrants who come here looking for a better life for their families.  I know they will take the jobs and do the work that most Americans won't.  I know that many of them DO learn English and DO obey our laws - well, except for that nasty one about immigration, of course.

 

Several years ago, my community lost two beautiful, intelligent and vibrant teenage girls who had bright futures ahead of them.  They were stopped at a stop light when they were rear-ended by a drunk driver.  He was an illegal immigrant who already had several DUIs on his record and had even spent time in jail for drunk driving.  He had also been arrested for other offenses (armed robbery being one) more than once.  His immigration status was known after his first arrest.  The community demanded to know why this man was still in America.  The answer was because he had committed no deportable offenses.  What?  Did I hear that right?  No deportable offenses?  Shouldn't illegal immigration in and of itself, by its very  nature, be a deportable offense???  That's like saying a law is not enforceable.  No it's not - that's EXACTLY what it's saying.

 

I totally understand that there are good people who break the law sometimes.  If someone is here illegally but they follow our laws and become productive members of society who give back when and where they can, then we need to work with them and help them to become legal immigrants.  If, on the other hand, they’re breaking our laws and have no respect for our way of life, choosing instead to live off of our social programs and never give anything back, send them back to their home country.

 

In my opinion, one answer to our illegal immigration problem is to make it less attractive.   Every social program we offer should be available only to those who are here legally and they should have to prove it by showing a visa or a green card.

 

Another solution is to change the immigration law itself.  It’s hard to come here legally.  The process for immigrating legally is tedious, arduous and loaded with paper work.  Maybe THAT’S what needs to be fixed?

 

In today’s world, certainly we have to be cautious but isn’t it true that no matter how little we may know about a legal immigrant, it’s certainly a lot more than we know about an illegal one. At the very least, we know he’s here and where he came from.

Why Do People Betray?

Betray a friend and you'll often find you have ruined yourself.

~Aesop, Aesop's Fables~

Have you ever thought about why some people betray others?  I do but then I think a lot about what makes individuals do the things they do - good or bad.  There's this...this... "thing" about me that makes me want to know the whys of everything.  I figure that if you know why something happens, it's easier to find a solution to the problem.


I remember learning about Benedict Arnold when I was in elementary school.  Before he was a traitor, he was a patriot and a war hero.  But he was a jealous man who became bitter over his perceived lack of acknowledgement of his accomplishments.  This bitterness was the catalyst for his eventual betrayal of his country and it cost him dearly.


Brutus betrayed his friend, Julius Caesar, because he was talked into it.  To my knowledge, Brutus never received anything in the form of payment for his betrayal but he did have to leave his home and relocated to the island of Crete.


Delilah's only reason for betraying Sampson was greed.  She was paid 1100 shekels of silver  by the Philistines to learn the secret of Sampson's great strength.  Her betrayal would cost her and everyone in the temple - even Sampson himself - their lives.


Probably the best known betrayer of all time is Judas Iscariot.  His betrayal of Jesus for 30 pieces of silver is probably the saddest story of all.  Judas regretted his betrayal and gave back the silver.  He then took his own life but it was too late.


There are more examples throughout history but the reasons all seem to be the same:  Power, manipulation and greed.  The biggest thing this points out to me is that people in general have been the same throughout history.


The whole thing about betrayal to me is the lack of character required to betray another human being.  There is no respect, no compassion, no honor among those who betray.  Why not?  There is something inherently wrong with a person who is so easily led or who loves power and money so much that he is willing to turn against anyone.


I really can't put into words that sufficiently describe my feelings about betrayal.  This is such a totally foreign concept to me.  I don't understand it and probably never will.  Frankly, I'm not sure I want to.


In the beginning, I said I always look for a "why" in order to correct a situation.  In this case, I'm not so sure about that.  The "whys" are clear - greed, power and manipulation - but the answer is not.  Or is it?

An Open Letter to Donald Trump

Political language... is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind.

~George Orwell~

I've deliberately been avoiding the subject of politics thus far, preferring to wait until we actually KNOW who is running for president.  But now I feel compelled to address something that I think is wrong on so many levels.  I'm talking about Donald Trump's planned boycott of the Republican Debate coming up this Thursday on the Fox News Channel.  Mr Trump has decided that he won't participate if Megan Kelly is a moderator.


Mr Trump, I totally understand that you don't like her but, seriously, isn't what you're doing basically dictating to the supposedly unbiased (I use the term very loosely) media how they should do their jobs?  If you're elected president, are you going to boycott any summits or meetings at which there are officials with whom you are feuding?  Are you going to have town hall meetings in various localities at which only those who treat you nice will be allowed to participate?  If you have a feud with a member of Congress, are you going to refuse to give a State of the Union Address?


I'm one of those voters who is still undecided about whom I want as our next Commander-in-Chief.  Stunts like this (and yes, I see it as a "stunt") do nothing to sway me in your direction, Mr Trump. In fact, it has the opposite effect.  I would never say you're afraid of Megan Kelly but it does make me pause and wonder if you can't or won't deal with her, what will you do when faced with the likes of Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong-Un or Ayman al-Zawahiri?  I want a leader who will stand up to those who are tough on him - even if he thinks it's unfair - and not someone who backs down when he feels attacked.


I have watched every single debate - both Republican and Democratic.  I don't want any candidate who is still in the race to miss a single debate for any reason.  I know things happen that are beyond a person's control and emergencies arise, but to boycott because you don't like a moderator?  Um, no.  That's like a kid in school not going to math class because he doesn't like the teacher.


You may not realize this, Mr Trump, but the debates are not set up for the comfort of the candidates. Rather, they are for the people to hear in their own words where the candidates stand on the issues and to defend that stance.  I honestly cannot tell you at this point if I will or won't vote for you when my state has our primary in March.  I can tell you that if you go through with your boycott, I will certainly be able to pay more attention to your opponents.

A View From The Other Side

Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.
~Wayne W. Dyer~

Anyone who knows me knows my passion for genealogy and tracing my roots.  To that end, I watch any and all genealogy shows I can.  Last night I was watching "Finding Your Roots with Henry Louis Gates Jr" and had a thought I'd never had before.  What if my ancestors had BEEN slaves instead of OWNING slaves?  Would that make a difference in how I view racial issues in today's world?  I went to bed with some soul searching on my mind.


When I began seriously researching my ancestry about 15 years ago, I never gave it a thought if my ancestors owned slaves, if they fought in any of the major wars in our country, how they supported their families or what kind of people they were.  I did want to know where they came from and when they came to America - or to the Colonies as it turned out to be in most of my lines.  Let me go back a few years to when it first hit me that my ancestors weren't just people who lived a long time ago, but people who were actually part of history and historical happenings.


I was trying hard to find the parents of one of my 3rd Great-Grandfathers.  I knew when he died (1863) but never associated the timing of his death with what was historically happening at the time (Civil War).  It was when my oldest son found where this ancestor was buried that I learned the cause of his death.  He was a soldier in the Confederate Army of Virginia during the Civil War and was wounded in the second battle of Manassas.  Infection from that wound would send him to the hospital where he contracted Typhoid Fever and that is what ultimately killed him.  That's when my interest in the Civil War began and when I learned that it's really my own personal history that makes an impact on how I think and feel.


As I found more and more of my ancestors, I learned that some of them were poor farmers who could not afford to own slaves and some were wealthy plantation owners who most assuredly did own slaves.  I was really ambivalent about it because, frankly, I didn't care.  I didn't judge my ancestors because as I always say, that's God's job not mine and also because that's just the way it was back then.  I suppose I just accepted that it was history and not something that mattered in my personal life.  I chose not to research any slave records because I didn't want to know who owned other human beings and how many of them they owned.


I have accepted slavery as part of our history because, well, it IS part of our history.  I have never and will never justify it or condone it but I do think we need to remember it.  We don't need to use it as an excuse to hate but rather as a reason to always treat others with respect, honor and love.


That all sounds wonderful, doesn't it?  But would I feel the same way if I was descended from slaves?  To be perfectly honest, I don't know.  I would like to think that I would.  I've always been acutely aware that it is possible I could have black ancestors but never once considered that they could have been slaves.  Will my ambivalence subside and give me pause to consider what it must have been like to have been a slave?  It was a pretty eye-opening thought for me - one I'm still pondering this morning.


I'm absolutely, positively certain of one thing:  I will never become angry over what happened in history as it relates to me personally.  I could have ancestors who were hung as witches during the Salem Witch Trials and I wouldn't become angry about it.  I do have an ancestor who was tried for treason during the Revolutionary War (he sided with the British and blew up his neighbor's boats in the harbor) and I'm not angry about that either.  It's all history and can't be changed - and none of it has anything to do with who I am today.


Whatever conclusion I ultimately come to, I can promise you that I will continue to be who I am and will continue to leave it in the past where it belongs.  We cannot change our past nor do we have any control over who our ancestors were or what they did.  We can accept our past, let go of what we can't change and then move forward in our lives and relationships without the chains of grudges and anger holding us back.


I prefer to learn from the past, not relive it.

Does Beauty Impress?

If the whole world was blind how many people would you impress?
~Boonaa Mohammed~

Have you ever wondered what people really think of you?  I do all the time.  It's usually just a passing thought because in truth, the only ones whose opinions of me really matter are my own and God's.  I learned two things a very long time ago:  1) I'm the only one who has to live with the real, unseen, unheard, unknown me; the me who makes choices in my life and who acts on them; and 2) Only God is qualified to pass judgment on me and, truthfully, His is the only judgment that matters.


The world in which we live today has people believing that you only have value if you fit the mold of that which they consider worthy or beautiful.  How many of us walk past a homeless person on the street and look away because our opinion of them is such that they're not good enough to even be acknowledged?  If we knew their stories, we might find people who are not only worthy of our time but who can be (and probably have been) productive members of society if they just had someone to help them find their way.  Have you ever actually stopped and talked to a homeless person?


I feel sorry for those who only have time for attractive, wealthy people or people of "society".  How sad that so many of us can't see the heart of others and find the true beauty that lives within them.  How sad that so many who are deemed unattractive in their appearance, unworthy to have a friend, uninvited in our lives and undeserving of success could be so much more if they had only been given a chance, listened to or encouraged.


Many people today go to such extremes to achieve physical beauty and never learn what real beauty is.  They take pills, get injections and undergo surgery just to be whatever their perception of beauty might be.  Beauty is not what's on the outside, it's what shines out from the inside.  Joan Rivers once said "I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery".  How sad is that?


The ugliest people in the world are sometimes those who have flawless beauty, enormous wealth and lofty social standings while the most beautiful of us are wearing tattered clothes, sleeping on the streets and going days without food.  We are all God's people (even those who don't believe in God).  We all have the same value regardless of our standing in life.  As you go through your day-by-day existences, think about how many times, while you were looking at others and making mental assessments of their worth, others may be making the same assessments about you.


A final note:  Remember that how we perceive another person oftentimes shows on our faces and in our actions.  Are your facial expressions and actions covering up your true beauty?

How Much Do You Want?

There is a sufficiency in the world for man's need but not for man's greed.
~Mahatma Gandhi~

So someone finally won that 1.5 billion dollar power ball lottery.  Thank you, Jesus, the hype is over!  I personally did not contribute even one dollar to the frenzy.  If I had had a weak moment and bought a ticket that won, I'd have given 99% of it away.  I have no desire for that kind of money.


In this day and age, I see more and more people becoming 'money worshippers'.  They can't get enough and are always searching for more, bigger and better.  Why?  How much money do you seriously need?  How many things can you spend it on?  How many houses, cars, yachts and jets would you own?  I suppose one could put solid gold toilets in each of his 25 bathrooms and have door knobs made of the finest diamonds if one were so inclined but, again, why???


The thing I don't get is why can't people just be happy with what they have?  So many don't even have the necessities of life and then there are those who think they don't have enough because someone else has that "more, bigger, better" thing they want.


Being satisfied with what you have does not in anyway mean that you can't want more.  It just means that you know your life doesn't depend on it and if you never get something you want, you'll still be happy.  Can you imagine having so much money that you can get everything you want?  Where's the excitement of anticipation?  of wishing? of hoping? of dreaming?  Where's the joy you get from finally getting that for which you waited so long and worked so hard?  Every adult knows the disappointment that comes when Christmas is over and none of those things are left.


Have you ever wondered what motivates the wealthiest people in the world?  Obviously, everyone is different, but if I had to wager a guess, I'd put my money on greed.  I think money can become as much an addiction as heroin or cocaine if you place too much importance on how much of it you have.  I also believe that there is something emotionally and/or morally wrong with those of us who fall into that category.


The Bible tells us (yes, here I go again!) that we cannot serve two masters.  Money is not my master nor is a desire to have that "more, bigger, better".  Matthew 19:24 tells us that it's easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God.   Wow.  Give that some thought while I move on.


Many years ago when we were struggling in our early years, my husband and I took a tour of a shopping club for which we had a lotto ticket with which we could win anything from $5 to $500.  Naturally, we won the $5 - for which I was grateful because we were needing bread and milk.  My husband kind of scowled and said "Figgers.  We never win the big prize."  I anwered him :"No, but we always seem to get the 5 or 10 dollars when we're needing something."  He admitted I was right.  Surprisingly or not, we both still seem to have those same attitudes today.  Guess which one of us has the less stress?


Now, having said all that, if someone should happen to toss a winning lottery ticket my way and the pot is a size I'm comfortable winning, I won't be upset.

Facing Disappointment

If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment.
~Henry David Thoreau~

Sometimes I think disappointment is one of God's ways of humbling us.  It's certainly true that we need disappointment in our lives in order to appreciate satisfaction - at least I think so.  I've experienced that scenario this weekend.


My disappointment came from something that is really not that important in the grand scheme of things.  My hopes were built up to the point that I was positively soaring and believed I would go even higher.  My bubble was burst and I experienced what ABC Sports has always called "the agony of defeat".  I went to bed last night with a broken heart and a broken spirit. 


A good night's sleep and a beautiful morning has changed my perspective and I'm feeling my usual obnoxious and positive self again.  That which disappointed me is over and a fresh new start is upon me.  Don't you just love how quickly points of view can change when you let them?


To be perfectly honest, I'm grateful for the reality check.  I needed it.  The old me from many (MANY!) years ago would have pouted and walked around with drooped shoulders and a frown for days.  The me of today has picked myself up, wiped the dust off and put the whole thing behind me.  I'm good and I'm happy.


For those who haven't figured it out, I'm talking about a silly football game.  My team lost a playoff game and will not make it to the Super Bowl.  Today, I'm looking forward to a better season next year.  Devastation has given way to reality.  Of 32 teams, only 12 made it to the playoffs and my team was one.  Next weekend, only 8 teams will still be in contention.  So many more will be watching and that is perfectly okay.


And yes, I AM still having a Super Bowl Party even if my team is just watching too.